20 February 2009

Four long years. . .

No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun -- for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax -- This won't hurt. - Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, February 16, 2005

Raise a toast, if you will, for one of the most brilliant minds of the 20th Century. For good or ill.
On Saturday, August 20th, six months to the day after Hunter died, many of his closest friends gathered in the high-ceiling lobby of the Hotel Jerome in Aspen. Since the mid-1960s, Hunter had used the hotel's J-Bar as his boozy late-night office, its long outdoor swimming pool as his fitness club. Now, family and friends congregated here, waiting for a convoy of shuttle buses that would ferry them down the two-lane country road to Owl Farm, Hunter's home in Woody Creek, to say goodbye.

As the hour approached, the Victorian hotel became a Gonzo way station. Reporters wandered about with spiral notebooks while Ralph Steadman and Bill Murray held court at the bar. "I wouldn't miss this for the world," Sen. John Kerry said as he boarded a shuttle, his arm around former Sen. George McGovern. "I met Hunter in the days of Vietnam Veterans Against the War. Then, last summer I offered him the vice-presidency in jest. He's missed."

Because Hunter had been a perpetual Peter Pan, accepting the bleak reality of his death came hard. Nobody coveted what his son, Juan, deemed "Dr. Phil closure." Instead, his family and friends wanted to find a gallant, jubilant way to remember him. Luckily, Hunter provided them with a dramatic, ready-made funeral scheme first hatched nearly thirty years ago, a self-aggrandizing stunt guaranteed to launch his posthumous literary reputation skyward in a final blaze of triumphant glory. "Hunter wanted to be crazy and outrageous in death, just as he was in life," composer David Amram said on the bus ride to Owl Farm. "Like a phoenix, he planned on rising from the ashes."

Back in 1977, Hunter had asked Ralph Steadman -- his brilliant illustrator and trusted sidekick -- to draft a blueprint for a Gonzo Fist Memorial, his warped idea of a pyrotechnics-rigged mausoleum. The morbid notion had been preoccupying Hunter for a while. A few years before, he had asked his artist friend Paul Pascarella to design an official Gonzo logo: an iconic two-thumbed red fist clutching a peyote button, ensconced atop a dagger. Now, with a BBC crew in tow, Hunter and Ralph wandered into a Hollywood mortuary to inquire about transforming the Gonzo symbol into a full-fledged artillery cannon, 153 feet tall, capable of blasting his ashes into the atmosphere. It started out as a lark, but as the years passed, Hunter grew serious about the cannon concept, telling his family and friends it was his "one true wish." He often spoke of how Mark Twain wanted to report on his own funeral, how France celebrated the death of Victor Hugo with a no-holds-barred parade and, more recently, how Timothy Leary had his ashes fired into space from Grand Canary Island via a rocket. But Hunter had a much grander farewell in mind. He wanted to trump his own suicide with a surefire, high-octane, sizzling Gonzo epilogue complete with a thunderous eight-piece Japanese drum band and a Buddhist reading and his ashes showering down on his lifelong friends while Bob Dylan wailed "Mr. Tambourine Man" from high-decibel speakers.

17 February 2009

Lifestyles of the Affluent and Retarded™


ABOVE: A Debtor's Prison.


Wow.

Local police have found at least 3,000 automobiles -- sedans, SUVs, regulars -- abandoned outside Dubai International Airport in the last four months.

So. . . Four months is, normally, 122 days. Divide that by "at least 3000" and you get 24.59 cars abandoned by their owners at the Dubai airport EVERY DAY by people fleeing their debts and economic disaster, compounded by the real threat of incarceration. Yes, in Dubai you can go to prison for defaulting on a personal debt. I'll bet Dubai's prisons are not as "nice" as the NYSDOC's.

Could someone explain to me how the poor and working/middle class are responsible for this? Because a disturbing number of people I talk to seem eager to blame anyone less affluent then themselves.

So yes bittercup226, we are all fucked. Now we just have to figure out how to blame people who have less than us. Because we all know damn well that they are responsible for the mess we are in.

(h/t Smashing Telly)

12 February 2009

Two pence for my thought? nah.

However, this sounds like a great idea.
But one obvious project that’s also [shovel ready] on day one is the scanning of the contents of the Library of Congress.

Anyone who thinks this is a bad idea is, frankly, dumb.

11 February 2009

With All Your Power. . .

What would you do?

Watch, read the words and think.


If you could blow up the world with the flick of a switch
Would you do it?
(Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)
If you could make everybody poor just so you could be rich
Would you do it?
(Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)
If you could watch everybody work while you just lay on your back
Would you do it?
(Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)
If you could take all the love without giving any back
Would you do it?
(Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)

And so we cannot know ourselves or what we'd really do...
With all your power
With all your power
With all your power
What would you do?

If you could make your own money and then give it to everybody
Would you do it?
(No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No)
If you knew all the answers and could give it to the masses
Would you do it?
(No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No)
Are you crazy?
It's a very dangerous thing to do exactly what you want

Because you cannot know yourself or what you'd really do...
With all your power
With all your power
With all your power
What would you do?

04 February 2009

Yeah, no really. . .

We. Are. Fucked.

I'm not kidding when I say I am actively working on becoming a licensed hand-gun owner.

(Obviously, I'm not feeling quite the way I was in my last post.)