Our Fucked Country.

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard. - H. L. Mencken

We're fucked. We really are. There's no two-ways about it. When the only candidates speaking any kind of truth to power are considered totally inconsequential and/or unelectable side-shows and the most pandering, vapid, triangulating and/or authority-addicted are the only real candidates, it's only getting worse. It doesn't matter what "image" we decide to elect, we'll all "get it good and hard."

Viva la pointlessness. . .

It's Alright, Ma' (it's only Jesus)

Disillusioned words like bullets bark
As human gods aim for their mark
Made everything from toy guns that spark
To flesh-colored Christs that glow in the dark
It's easy to see without looking too far
That not much Is really sacred.
- "It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding), Bob Dylan

Wal-Mart, surprisingly for the first time, is carrying a full line of religious toys including, but not limited to a talking Jesus and a talking Moses. Apparently the owner of the Beverly Hills Teddy Bear Company, "was troubled by a lack of morals and ethics in toys." I suppose he has a point. In fact, most toys I owned as a kid revolved around blowing stuff up and killing your enemy and my sister's were more of the "you're never going to be this perfect or pretty" type. At least my toys didn't highlight my "flaws."

This really is not big deal. We sell Jesus at every opportunity. Whether it's a politician proclaiming his piety while his minions ratfuck the opponent or an athlete throwin' it up to "Big 'J'" after violently ramming his way to the end zone. "Praise Jesus! Now watch me [viciously smear/chop block] my opponent." It's all the same, as Jesus has had a part in many great narratives.

Of course what push-back against amoral and unethical toys would be complete with the declaration of war? The Beverly Hills Teddy Bear Company has a subsidiary or division (it is hard to say which) called one2believe.com. One2believe.com is the moral and ethical warrior wing of the company, I guess. The "vision" is:

. . . to help children learn important Bible lessons and to have them come to faith in Jesus. Our goal is to provide fun ways of teaching children about the greatest people who ever lived. Through the toys that we design children will learn and play out exciting stories about real people. Our toys teach children that there are real superheroes they can believe in!

one2believe has a great desire to support parents in their battle for their children's hearts and minds. We pray that parents will take the lead by engaging their children in faith and get them excited about Jesus. In Phillipians it speaks about pressing on, at one2believe we believe that we will either influence the world or the world will influence us.

To advance this goal, they have declared a "Battle for the Toy Box." Because nothing spreads the word of God like kicking a little unbeliever ass, right? Or at least making sure your little Johnny never forgets that a white prophet from the Middle-East is the true Son of God. But do you think this will be a passive "battle" in the supposedly pacifist ways of Jesus and his gang? Check out the main graphic for the poster they recommend you download, print and distribute in your community and church.

I cannot tell if thats a "battle" or an "embrace." Either way, its kind of odd that in order to restore morality and ethics to toys, two, grotesquely-muscled, dudes engaged in "wrestling" is needed. But what should we expect?

Christianity, which a majority of people in this country "adhere" to, is always under assault and on the verge of being eliminated, right? So what better way to educate an attention-deficient child than with a toy! That will, like every other toy, eventually find itself at the bottom of the toy box, most likely sooner rather than later, battling over the toy box with maimed G.I. Joe figurines and miscellaneous Hungry-Hungry Hippos parts. UGH!!! There is so much wrong with this concept!

But the point is not educating kids about Jesus or the religious tenants of Christianity. No way. If people really practiced what a guy supposedly named "Jesus" who wandered the present-day Middle-East spouting Marxist screeds, changing water to wine and professing adulation towards the meek and the poor, we wouldn't recognize them as red-blooded Americans. This is Jesus as supremacy. Submit to him or Samson will sneak up behind you like you were Goliath (as depicted in the above picture). What's he doing to him anyways? Looks like he's trying to take back more than the toy box. Plus, I always figured Samson was down with that Delilah chick anyways.

To me, that's neither here nor there because. . .

BTW, check out more from The Bastard Fairies.