Activist Judgin'

Pictured above: Chief Justice John Roberts, activist.

Or why the Justice Sunday™ activist judges joke would make me laugh if this wasn't the opinion of the Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court:

The imminence of the danger posed by drunk drivers exceeds that at issue in other types of cases. In a case like J. L., the police can often observe the subject of a tip and step in before actual harm occurs; with drunk driving, such a wait-and-see approach may prove fatal. Drunk driving is always dangerous, as it is occurring. This Court has in fact recognized that the dangers posed by drunk drivers are unique, frequently upholding anti-drunk-driving policies that might be constitutionally problematic in other, less exigent circumstances.

With the exception of the death penalty, he wasn't hired to give his opinion regarding the societal and emotional aspects of a specific crime. Chief Justice Roberts is entitled to his personal opinions and rightly so. But as the administrative head of the judicial branch of the Federal government, those opinions have no real place in the questions his job is charged to answer.

[VIA: Libertarian asshole, Radley Balko. Ya know, that Senior Editor and contributor for this commie iRag.]

For the Love of God. . .

Please read this.

About 30 years ago, the socially embedded corporation of the post-World War II period was reconceived as a giant money machine. This started innocently enough. As global competition began to affect American industries, many wondered how to make managers more accountable for the firm's performance. The idea was that managers were not acting in shareholders' interests to maximize profits. Theorists suggested all kinds of reasons why this might be so, from inertia and self-interest to community loyalty and even "honor."

One solution eventually dominated all others: markets for corporate control. A new breed of activist investors led tender offers, often hostile, to take over companies whose share prices were regarded as underperforming. Most stockholders responded simply by choosing the highest offer. Leveraging up debt and driving new economies of scale by combining or reorganizing resources were seen as ways to impose discipline on teams of managers and limit their divergence from shareholder-wealth maximization. New compensation and incentive systems linked executive pay to the performance of the company's stock price.

The company became a transaction machine designed to maximize profit, untethered from its community, society, and country. Jobs were outsourced, work was automated, assets were concentrated, costs were cut to the bone, and balance sheets depended on increasingly arcane financial engineering. Takeovers gave way to mergers. Industries consolidated, limiting consumer choice. The inward focus to which management had always been vulnerable became pathological, banishing the needs of customers and employees to a distant horizon. Job security became tenuous, and most families depended on two incomes. A large majority of employees wanted more flexibility at work than their employers allowed. Working parents, and especially mothers, foundered. Customers were treated as anonymous and expendable.

Two comments: 1.) The current situation is not just a result of the cyclical nature of any functioning economy. It is about the way we do "business". 2.) Personally, I think we're all fucked - rich and poor, alike. Whether you earn and/or make money. . . See ya in the Soup Line™.

Who is your favorite Founding Father?

Lincoln or Reagan?



Yep, two of those people said Abraham Lincoln (b. 2/12/1809) and Ronald Reagan (b. 2/6/1911), respectively, were their favorite Founding Fathers of the United States of America (b. 1776-1791) All four people are Republican candidates for an open Congressional seat in Missouri's 9th District. I give credit to the other two for not busting a gut while the Poli. Sci. kidz were giving their answers. That had to be hard not to after the woman on the panel said Reagan. To make this even more rediculous, Abe Lincoln fanboy, Brock Olivo once had this to say back in February about his qualifications for office:

"Not only was I football player, but I also was in social studies class, and I have a passion for how this country works," Olivo said.

I know a lot of people that were "in" class, but never learned shit. By the way, just to prove that the best way out of a hole is to keep digging, Olivo (about 0:33 into the video) blathers out loud that while the "courage" Lincoln displayed in abolishing slavery was immense, it probably was not on par with the "courage" fellow Founding Father Ronald Reagan displayed when he watched the Soviet Union collapse under the weight of it's own largess, thus "winning" the Cold War. That's some titanium balls on teh Gipper, eh?

If it were my question I would probably pick either John Jay, Alexander Hamilton and/or James Madison - the authors of the Federalist Papers - as personal favorites. Though I suppose, in a debate for public office I might stick to heavy hitters like Benjamin Franklin or Thomas Jefferson, so people might think that I had at least attended a social studies class once.

(h/t teh GOS)

Egads! WTF?

George Denis Patrick Carlin
May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008

While everyone should go watch the seminal "Seven Dirty Words" bit, I'm gonna post a more recent favorite of mine.

A little more on this later. . .

Welp, there goes my vote. . .

What I am about to propose is crossing some lines that we can’t step back across. It’s a two-step solution.

Step One: Bury the corpse of the Democratic Party.
Step Two: Make a corpse of the Republican Party.

- Lighting the Fuse - Stan Goff 2006

That quote has always stuck with me for some reason. Now I know why.

Sorry Senator, you lost a supporter today. (Actually, I'm pretty sure you're gonna, deservedly, lose a shitload of supporters after letting that submissive trash out of the press shop.) Seriously, if you're going to act like a little bitch to, quite possibly, the most loathed minority party in modern history, you have no business calling yourself a leader or being the President of the United States. If I didn't know any better I would have swore that statement was written by a fucking Republican. Good day and good riddance.

UPDATE: I realize there is a difference between arguing principle and arguing politics. The Fourth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States is not a questionable subsidy or some other form of horse trading common with politics. It's the God damned Fourth Amendment to the Fucking Constitution of this seemingly cursed country! A principle of liberty if there ever was one. This is not comparable to an earmark or some corporate give-away. It is a right, guarantee and liberty enshrined in the very document that makes this society possible.

But since, it appears, immunity is for sale, who do I have to pay and how much so I can smoke a joint without worrying about my legal liability?

Feel good hit of the summer. . .

It would warm the cockles of my dance-club-hating-heart to know this is making the rounds in the weekend roofie grind-fests that are American dance clubs.



Music courtesy of RevoLucian. Priceless.

Well that didn't take long. . .

Pictured above is a candidate for Federal office who's either the dumbest politician on the fuckin' planet or dumber than the aforesaid politician. I'm not sure which. Tony Zirkle is this guys name. He's a candidate in the Republican primary for the 2nd Congressional District in Indiana. This historically unaware candidate gave a speech at the National Socialist Workers Party's birthday celebration held in honor of Adolf Hitler's April 20th birthday. Let that sink in for moment. . .

When confronted with this he explained it away as such, "[t]his is a great opportunity for me to witness." (For the uninitiated, "to witness" is to profess your faith, love, trust and whatever else in Jesus to a group of people. I'm sure there may be more to it, but that's all I've ever walked away with.)

Zirkle was there to talk about porn. More specifically, pornography made by Jew's that victimizes Christian women. So I guess it makes sense to go in front of a group of people who were celebrating the birthday of the guy responsible for exterminating 1/3 of the Jews on the planet.

[I know this is dated, but I still shake my head in disbelief looking at that picture.]

Dear Senator Clinton,

You are becoming a parody of yourself. I won't ask you to stop, because it is not my place to do so. However, when you say this:

“Senator [Barack] Obama is a good man and he is a very talented and gifted man. But I think his comments were elitist and divisive. And the Democratic party has been unfortunately viewed by many people over the last decades as being elitist and out of touch. . . ”

Please do not turn around and weasel around like so:

After a weekend spent making direct appeals to gun owners and church goers, Hillary Clinton said Sunday a query about the last time she fired a gun or attended church services “is not a relevant question in this debate” over Barack Obama’s recent comments on small town Americans.

“We can answer that some other time,” Clinton said at a press conference held in a working class neighborhood here. “This is about what people feel is being said about them. I went to church on Easter. I mean, so?”

Um. . . Can I try? Hey did you know I'm a bona fide professional musician. For real. What's that, you ask? Have I ever made a living as musician? I don't see how that is relevant, I've played trumpet before. Truthfully: I haven't picked up and played a trumpet since college and I am a musician (a pretty damn decent one, in my opinion,) but unfortunately I've never made a real living as one. . . yet.

Those last two sentences are so fucking priceless. You go to church? So? (see what I did there?) Hmm. . . where have a heard another politician use a potentially condescending™ dodge like that? Oh yeah, right here.

When this election campaign started (sometime during the late 80's, it seems,) I sat back and tried not to pick any candidate to declare, essentially to myself, my support for. The three candidates, I guess, I ranked the highest didn't make the final cut. But so goes politics. Even as it became a two person race, I tried to stay objective. But you more than helped make up my mind for me.

As an ex-Democrat, I feel no real loyalty to the party and should you somehow garner, by hook or crook, the nomination. I will not be voting for you. Ralph Nader says thank you. And, like him, I kind of wonder when the Democrats running for office will actually try to appeal to their base, ya know the almost half of the nation that considers itself progressive?

Meanwhile, keep wasting your time trying to prove your poor rural bona fides (start by hiding your tax returns.) Though I'm sure you must know that most of those people you are pandering to with guns and church mixed together wouldn't vote for you if you promised to water-board 'sand niggers' in the Rose Garden every Friday at 5 pm. Frankly, they're not that dumb. Bitter and/or mad? Sure. That dumb? Mostly likely not.

Hopefully, the base of the party (the people who attend the conventions and do the nominating) will come see you for what you really have become. A joke and a sad, pandering parody of former progressive who knows of no bus too small to throw her base under.

You're not being condescending, you're being outlandishly fake. (We're talking John-Boehner-crying fake.) Condescending, however? No. Just an insult to my intelligence.

Sincerely,
jack fate

It's Alright, Ma' (it's only Jesus)

Disillusioned words like bullets bark
As human gods aim for their mark
Made everything from toy guns that spark
To flesh-colored Christs that glow in the dark
It's easy to see without looking too far
That not much Is really sacred.
- "It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding), Bob Dylan

Wal-Mart, surprisingly for the first time, is carrying a full line of religious toys including, but not limited to a talking Jesus and a talking Moses. Apparently the owner of the Beverly Hills Teddy Bear Company, "was troubled by a lack of morals and ethics in toys." I suppose he has a point. In fact, most toys I owned as a kid revolved around blowing stuff up and killing your enemy and my sister's were more of the "you're never going to be this perfect or pretty" type. At least my toys didn't highlight my "flaws."

This really is not big deal. We sell Jesus at every opportunity. Whether it's a politician proclaiming his piety while his minions ratfuck the opponent or an athlete throwin' it up to "Big 'J'" after violently ramming his way to the end zone. "Praise Jesus! Now watch me [viciously smear/chop block] my opponent." It's all the same, as Jesus has had a part in many great narratives.

Of course what push-back against amoral and unethical toys would be complete with the declaration of war? The Beverly Hills Teddy Bear Company has a subsidiary or division (it is hard to say which) called one2believe.com. One2believe.com is the moral and ethical warrior wing of the company, I guess. The "vision" is:

. . . to help children learn important Bible lessons and to have them come to faith in Jesus. Our goal is to provide fun ways of teaching children about the greatest people who ever lived. Through the toys that we design children will learn and play out exciting stories about real people. Our toys teach children that there are real superheroes they can believe in!

one2believe has a great desire to support parents in their battle for their children's hearts and minds. We pray that parents will take the lead by engaging their children in faith and get them excited about Jesus. In Phillipians it speaks about pressing on, at one2believe we believe that we will either influence the world or the world will influence us.

To advance this goal, they have declared a "Battle for the Toy Box." Because nothing spreads the word of God like kicking a little unbeliever ass, right? Or at least making sure your little Johnny never forgets that a white prophet from the Middle-East is the true Son of God. But do you think this will be a passive "battle" in the supposedly pacifist ways of Jesus and his gang? Check out the main graphic for the poster they recommend you download, print and distribute in your community and church.

I cannot tell if thats a "battle" or an "embrace." Either way, its kind of odd that in order to restore morality and ethics to toys, two, grotesquely-muscled, dudes engaged in "wrestling" is needed. But what should we expect?

Christianity, which a majority of people in this country "adhere" to, is always under assault and on the verge of being eliminated, right? So what better way to educate an attention-deficient child than with a toy! That will, like every other toy, eventually find itself at the bottom of the toy box, most likely sooner rather than later, battling over the toy box with maimed G.I. Joe figurines and miscellaneous Hungry-Hungry Hippos parts. UGH!!! There is so much wrong with this concept!

But the point is not educating kids about Jesus or the religious tenants of Christianity. No way. If people really practiced what a guy supposedly named "Jesus" who wandered the present-day Middle-East spouting Marxist screeds, changing water to wine and professing adulation towards the meek and the poor, we wouldn't recognize them as red-blooded Americans. This is Jesus as supremacy. Submit to him or Samson will sneak up behind you like you were Goliath (as depicted in the above picture). What's he doing to him anyways? Looks like he's trying to take back more than the toy box. Plus, I always figured Samson was down with that Delilah chick anyways.

To me, that's neither here nor there because. . .

BTW, check out more from The Bastard Fairies.