My World Without Gravity

Activist Judgin'

2009-10-22T01:03:00.006-04:00

Pictured above: Chief Justice John Roberts, activist.

Or why the Justice Sunday™ activist judges joke would make me laugh if this wasn't the opinion of the Chief Justice of the United States Supreme Court:

The imminence of the danger posed by drunk drivers exceeds that at issue in other types of cases. In a case like J. L., the police can often observe the subject of a tip and step in before actual harm occurs; with drunk driving, such a wait-and-see approach may prove fatal. Drunk driving is always dangerous, as it is occurring. This Court has in fact recognized that the dangers posed by drunk drivers are unique, frequently upholding anti-drunk-driving policies that might be constitutionally problematic in other, less exigent circumstances.

With the exception of the death penalty, he wasn't hired to give his opinion regarding the societal and emotional aspects of a specific crime. Chief Justice Roberts is entitled to his personal opinions and rightly so. But as the administrative head of the judicial branch of the Federal government, those opinions have no real place in the questions his job is charged to answer.

[VIA: Libertarian asshole, Radley Balko. Ya know, that Senior Editor and contributor for this commie iRag.]

OMFG Look at the dust in this place. . .

2009-10-17T04:00:00.002-04:00

Yeah, I suck as a blogger. Either way, enjoy:

While them that defend what they cannot see
With a killer's pride, security
It blows the minds most bitterly
For them that think death's honesty
Won't fall upon them naturally
Life sometimes
Must get lonely.

DFH SABOTEUR!!!!!

2009-04-16T18:21:00.005-04:00

Why I truly dig this country:

That fellow speaking is Sinfonian*.

The crowd reaction is priceless.

Next up, the inevitable Fourth of July protests. Followed by the completion of the "project" on 9/12.

*A Dirty-Fucking-Hippie Blogger if there ever was one. A Dirty-Fucking-Hippie Blogger with big Dirty-Fucking-Huge Balls, that is.

I Guess. . . If You're Trying to One-Up Jon Stewart.

2009-04-01T22:53:00.009-04:00

Seven minutes and fifty seconds of "HAH HAH We're All Laughing At You and Go Fuck Yourself!!!" that everyone should watch

Wherein Steven Colbert proceeds to tear off Glenn Beck's head, shit down his throat, question his sanity and mock him endlessly and mercilessly.

The Colbert Report

Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

The 10/31 Project

comedycentral.com

Colbert Report Full Episodes

Political Humor

NASA Name Contest

Amen.

Here's to hoping Glenn Beck is dumb enough to go on Colbert's show.

(h/t "them")

Up yours, Jim.

2009-03-13T17:12:00.008-04:00

Sometimes it's all about the follow-through.

Why does it take a comedian with a fake news show to point this shit out? How sad is that? As Mr. Stewart says, "it's not a fucking game."

UPDATE:Watch all the segments. Trust me.

I don't find anything funny about the interview. It's really nothing more than a pithy display of "truth" speaking to "power". But it is eye opening to see a clown get his bullshit smile wiped clean off his sad fuckin' face right before our eyes by a professional clown.

In the parlance of our times. . .

2009-03-06T23:23:00.005-05:00

A proper and well earned Bitch Slap™.

Watch the whole thing.

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

CNBC Gives Financial Advice

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things With Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Joke of the Day

Four long years. . .

2009-02-20T20:42:00.004-05:00

No More Games. No More Bombs. No More Walking. No More Fun. No More Swimming. 67. That is 17 years past 50. 17 more than I needed or wanted. Boring. I am always bitchy. No Fun -- for anybody. 67. You are getting Greedy. Act your old age. Relax -- This won't hurt. - Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, February 16, 2005

Raise a toast, if you will, for one of the most brilliant minds of the 20th Century. For good or ill.

On Saturday, August 20th, six months to the day after Hunter died, many of his closest friends gathered in the high-ceiling lobby of the Hotel Jerome in Aspen. Since the mid-1960s, Hunter had used the hotel's J-Bar as his boozy late-night office, its long outdoor swimming pool as his fitness club. Now, family and friends congregated here, waiting for a convoy of shuttle buses that would ferry them down the two-lane country road to Owl Farm, Hunter's home in Woody Creek, to say goodbye.

As the hour approached, the Victorian hotel became a Gonzo way station. Reporters wandered about with spiral notebooks while Ralph Steadman and Bill Murray held court at the bar. "I wouldn't miss this for the world," Sen. John Kerry said as he boarded a shuttle, his arm around former Sen. George McGovern. "I met Hunter in the days of Vietnam Veterans Against the War. Then, last summer I offered him the vice-presidency in jest. He's missed."

Because Hunter had been a perpetual Peter Pan, accepting the bleak reality of his death came hard. Nobody coveted what his son, Juan, deemed "Dr. Phil closure." Instead, his family and friends wanted to find a gallant, jubilant way to remember him. Luckily, Hunter provided them with a dramatic, ready-made funeral scheme first hatched nearly thirty years ago, a self-aggrandizing stunt guaranteed to launch his posthumous literary reputation skyward in a final blaze of triumphant glory. "Hunter wanted to be crazy and outrageous in death, just as he was in life," composer David Amram said on the bus ride to Owl Farm. "Like a phoenix, he planned on rising from the ashes."

Back in 1977, Hunter had asked Ralph Steadman -- his brilliant illustrator and trusted sidekick -- to draft a blueprint for a Gonzo Fist Memorial, his warped idea of a pyrotechnics-rigged mausoleum. The morbid notion had been preoccupying Hunter for a while. A few years before, he had asked his artist friend Paul Pascarella to design an official Gonzo logo: an iconic two-thumbed red fist clutching a peyote button, ensconced atop a dagger. Now, with a BBC crew in tow, Hunter and Ralph wandered into a Hollywood mortuary to inquire about transforming the Gonzo symbol into a full-fledged artillery cannon, 153 feet tall, capable of blasting his ashes into the atmosphere. It started out as a lark, but as the years passed, Hunter grew serious about the cannon concept, telling his family and friends it was his "one true wish." He often spoke of how Mark Twain wanted to report on his own funeral, how France celebrated the death of Victor Hugo with a no-holds-barred parade and, more recently, how Timothy Leary had his ashes fired into space from Grand Canary Island via a rocket. But Hunter had a much grander farewell in mind. He wanted to trump his own suicide with a surefire, high-octane, sizzling Gonzo epilogue complete with a thunderous eight-piece Japanese drum band and a Buddhist reading and his ashes showering down on his lifelong friends while Bob Dylan wailed "Mr. Tambourine Man" from high-decibel speakers.

Lifestyles of the Affluent and Retarded™

2009-02-17T19:33:00.006-05:00

ABOVE: A Debtor's Prison.

Wow.

Local police have found at least 3,000 automobiles -- sedans, SUVs, regulars -- abandoned outside Dubai International Airport in the last four months.

So. . . Four months is, normally, 122 days. Divide that by "at least 3000" and you get 24.59 cars abandoned by their owners at the Dubai airport EVERY DAY by people fleeing their debts and economic disaster, compounded by the real threat of incarceration. Yes, in Dubai you can go to prison for defaulting on a personal debt. I'll bet Dubai's prisons are not as "nice" as the NYSDOC's.

Could someone explain to me how the poor and working/middle class are responsible for this? Because a disturbing number of people I talk to seem eager to blame anyone less affluent then themselves.

So yes bittercup226, we are all fucked. Now we just have to figure out how to blame people who have less than us. Because we all know damn well that they are responsible for the mess we are in.

(h/t Smashing Telly)

Two pence for my thought? nah.

2009-02-12T21:01:00.003-05:00

However, this sounds like a great idea.

But one obvious project that’s also [shovel ready] on day one is the scanning of the contents of the Library of Congress.

Anyone who thinks this is a bad idea is, frankly, dumb.

With All Your Power. . .

2009-02-11T00:06:00.002-05:00

What would you do?

Watch, read the words and think.

If you could blow up the world with the flick of a switch
Would you do it?
(Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)
If you could make everybody poor just so you could be rich
Would you do it?
(Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)
If you could watch everybody work while you just lay on your back
Would you do it?
(Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)
If you could take all the love without giving any back
Would you do it?
(Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah)

And so we cannot know ourselves or what we'd really do...
With all your power
With all your power
With all your power
What would you do?

If you could make your own money and then give it to everybody
Would you do it?
(No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No)
If you knew all the answers and could give it to the masses
Would you do it?
(No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No)
Are you crazy?
It's a very dangerous thing to do exactly what you want

Because you cannot know yourself or what you'd really do...
With all your power
With all your power
With all your power
What would you do?

Really.

2009-02-08T22:24:00.001-05:00

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

Yeah, no really. . .

2009-02-04T22:42:00.003-05:00

We. Are. Fucked.

I'm not kidding when I say I am actively working on becoming a licensed hand-gun owner.

(Obviously, I'm not feeling quite the way I was in my last post.)

How I've been feeling. . .

2009-01-22T23:59:00.001-05:00

Without the cameos, obviously.

HIGH-FIVE INAUGURATION! - watch more funny videos

UPDATE: Seriously, I'm not smart enough to resize the short clip. Sorry. Watch it anyway.

Henry F. Potter

2009-01-22T01:25:00.003-05:00

Seriously.

Rot in Hell - you fetid, vacuous, authoritarian piece of shit.

Read All About It!!!

2009-01-11T23:44:00.009-05:00

THE BEAST 50 MOST LOATHSOME PEOPLE IN AMERICA, 2008

43. You

Charges: You think it’s your patriotic duty to spend money you don’t have on crap you don’t need. You think Hillary lost because of sexism, when it’s actually because she’s just a bad liar. You think Iraq is better off now than before we invaded, and don’t understand why they’re so ungrateful. You think Tim Russert was a great journalist. You’re hopping mad about an auto industry bailout that cost a squirt of piss compared to a Wall Street heist of galactic dimensions, due to a housing crash you somehow have blamed on minorities. It took you six years to figure out what a tool Bush is, but you think Obama will make it all better. You deem it hunky dory that we conduct national policy debates via 8-second clips from “The View.” You think God zapped humans into existence a few thousand years ago, although your appendix and wisdom teeth disagree. You like watching vicious assholes insult each other on TV. You support gun rights, because firing one gives you a chubby. You cuddle falsehoods and resent enlightenment. You think the fact that 43% of whites could stomach voting for an incredibly charismatic and eloquent light-skinned black guy who was raised by white people means racism is over. You think progressive taxation is socialism. 1 in 100 of you are in jail, and you think it should be more. You are shallow, inconsiderate, afraid, brand-conscious, sedentary, and totally self-obsessed. You are American.

Exhibit A: You’re more upset by Miley Cyrus’s glamour shots than the fact that you are a grown adult who is upset about Miley Cyrus.

Sentence: Invaded and occupied by Canada; all military units busy overseas without enough fuel to get back.

Check the rest of it out.

I wait all year for this list and recommend reading the previous ones if you are new to the annual feature.

Living in Buffalo, NY, I've been reading The Beast ever since it was founded by Matt Taibbi, Kevin McElwee and Paul Fallon back in 2002 as a new, free bi-weekly alt news rag alternative to the milquetoast Art Voice - though I'm sure that probably was not their intent, it's why I started reading it. It's funny, smart, unbelievably offensive and publishes with balls of steel.

Look at what they did to Buffalo's then-mayor Tony Massiello - in their first issue! The Mayor Brown prank is even better as they almost goaded two mayors - ours and Ottawa's - into making a wholly unethical and most likely illegal bet over a fucking playoff hockey series. That's more of the silly end of things. Though, the actual journalism, however sophomoric, and the information it revealed about the alarming incompetence, gullibility and, in the Ottowa mayor's case, close to criminal behavior, said more in one or two stories about the sorry state of Western New York politics (and it's pretty sad) than the Buffalo News' political editor, Bob McCarthy, could by working any number of local politicos and contacts, then devoting months of his cherished real estate in a low rent Op-Ed section to his insights. (Not that I think Bob McCarthy is a dumb and/or incompetent man. Quite the opposite, in fact. He's just what passes for modern political journalism/punditry.)

Read The Beast. And if so inclined, support the sorry band of losers and miscreants that publish it.

Ps. I'm a bit of a fanboy, I'll admit it. Plus, it's a local rag from a town with not much to be proud of in that department and every time I see their Grade-A, year end, wrap up posted all over the net, it a good thing, IMO.

Side note - those motherfuckers can drink.

Happy Birthday, Bill 'mutha-fuckin' Hicks!!!

2008-12-16T22:23:00.004-05:00

It's just a ride and we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings and money, a choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your door, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. - Bill Hicks

"The Fundamentals of the economy are strong."

2008-12-12T17:55:00.017-05:00

"Smell that? Of course you do, it's your 401K."
(Henry Paulson juxtaposing a fart as a private retirement plan)

Nobel-laureate economist, Joseph Stiglitz (not the guy pictured above) provides an interesting, though abridged, historical layout of the economic meltdown and the importance of the getting our history correct so as to smartly deal with the potentially disastrous economic depression we are facing today.

The more I read, the more it seems to be apparent that the problem is not the cyclical (and somewhat predictable) downturn that occurs in any large economy. Instead, the problem is the very infrastructure of our economy. There has been a major flaw in the way we have done business over the last 20 years, at least. As Dr. Stiglitz sees it:

In 1987 the Reagan administration decided to remove Paul Volcker as chairman of the Federal Reserve Board and appoint Alan Greenspan in his place. Volcker had done what central bankers are supposed to do. On his watch, inflation had been brought down from more than 11 percent to under 4 percent. In the world of central banking, that should have earned him a grade of A+++ and assured his re-appointment. But Volcker also understood that financial markets need to be regulated. Reagan wanted someone who did not believe any such thing, and he found him in a devotee of the objectivist philosopher and free-market zealot Ayn Rand.

Greenspan played a double role. The Fed controls the money spigot, and in the early years of this decade, he turned it on full force. But the Fed is also a regulator. If you appoint an anti-regulator as your enforcer, you know what kind of enforcement you’ll get. A flood of liquidity combined with the failed levees of regulation proved disastrous.

Can we all finally say, "Fuck Ayn Rand and her followers!"? If there ever was an ideology that needed a thorough, brutal and final rebuke, it's that horseshit. . .

Either way, Dr. Stiglitz wraps up his piece, I think, rather succinctly. Even if you haven't been following the minutia of the economic crisis, this is a good set of ideas to have in your head as you do. . .

Was there any single decision which, had it been reversed, would have changed the course of history? Every decision—including decisions not to do something, as many of our bad economic decisions have been—is a consequence of prior decisions, an interlinked web stretching from the distant past into the future. You’ll hear some on the right point to certain actions by the government itself—such as the Community Reinvestment Act, which requires banks to make mortgage money available in low-income neighborhoods. (Defaults on C.R.A. lending were actually much lower than on other lending.) There has been much finger-pointing at Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the two huge mortgage lenders, which were originally government-owned. But in fact they came late to the subprime game, and their problem was similar to that of the private sector: their C.E.O.’s had the same perverse incentive to indulge in gambling.

The truth is most of the individual mistakes boil down to just one: a belief that markets are self-adjusting and that the role of government should be minimal. Looking back at that belief during hearings this fall on Capitol Hill, Alan Greenspan said out loud, “I have found a flaw.” Congressman Henry Waxman pushed him, responding, “In other words, you found that your view of the world, your ideology, was not right; it was not working.” “Absolutely, precisely,” Greenspan said. The embrace by America—and much of the rest of the world—of this flawed economic philosophy made it inevitable that we would eventually arrive at the place we are today.

Down with the Trickle Down™.

For the Love of God. . .

2008-11-15T01:29:00.006-05:00

Please read this.

About 30 years ago, the socially embedded corporation of the post-World War II period was reconceived as a giant money machine. This started innocently enough. As global competition began to affect American industries, many wondered how to make managers more accountable for the firm's performance. The idea was that managers were not acting in shareholders' interests to maximize profits. Theorists suggested all kinds of reasons why this might be so, from inertia and self-interest to community loyalty and even "honor."

One solution eventually dominated all others: markets for corporate control. A new breed of activist investors led tender offers, often hostile, to take over companies whose share prices were regarded as underperforming. Most stockholders responded simply by choosing the highest offer. Leveraging up debt and driving new economies of scale by combining or reorganizing resources were seen as ways to impose discipline on teams of managers and limit their divergence from shareholder-wealth maximization. New compensation and incentive systems linked executive pay to the performance of the company's stock price.

The company became a transaction machine designed to maximize profit, untethered from its community, society, and country. Jobs were outsourced, work was automated, assets were concentrated, costs were cut to the bone, and balance sheets depended on increasingly arcane financial engineering. Takeovers gave way to mergers. Industries consolidated, limiting consumer choice. The inward focus to which management had always been vulnerable became pathological, banishing the needs of customers and employees to a distant horizon. Job security became tenuous, and most families depended on two incomes. A large majority of employees wanted more flexibility at work than their employers allowed. Working parents, and especially mothers, foundered. Customers were treated as anonymous and expendable.

Two comments: 1.) The current situation is not just a result of the cyclical nature of any functioning economy. It is about the way we do "business". 2.) Personally, I think we're all fucked - rich and poor, alike. Whether you earn and/or make money. . . See ya in the Soup Line™.

Yes. We. Did. (Part II)

2008-11-06T00:35:00.005-05:00

It's a marathon, not a sprint. But it never to hurts to celebrate the gains - once in a while.

Yes. We. Did.

2008-11-05T01:08:00.005-05:00

I'm not one for campaign slogans or their re-writes, but I was part of a huge group-hug last night where, after CNN called the election for Obama, we all cried and shouted that for two minutes, easily. I wish I had some pictures of it, but alas. The memory, burned into my brain, will last me a lifetime - and that wasn't even the most amazing part of my day.

Proposition 8

2008-11-02T16:53:00.005-05:00

While I doubt anyone from California reads this blog, we should all be aware of the absurdity of the arguments made by those who oppose the right of anyone to commit to a legally binding contract that grants legal rights and protections to the person of their choosing, regardless of sexual orientation.

50 years ago Proposition 8 could have substituted "gay marriage" for miscegenation and it would represent the same misguided values.

With that, I present the Republican Mayor of San Diego, Jerry Sanders:

"I have close family members and friends who are a member of the gay and lesbian community. Those folks include my daughter Lisa, as well as members of my personal staff.

"I want for them the same thing that we all want for our loved ones—for each of them to find a mate whom they love deeply and who loves them back; someone with whom they can grow old together and share life’s experiences.

"And I want their relationships to be protected equally under the law. In the end, I couldn’t look any of them in the face and tell them that their relationship—their very lives—were any less meaningful than the marriage I share with my wife Rana."

(h/t: Teh Great Orange Satan)

Whoa!!!

2008-10-23T21:02:00.003-04:00

I'd like to thank 6 of the most beautiful and loving people in my life - Ma', Chief, Magoosh, Monk, 'Dorge and Tooner - for being my family.

(I dedicate the first post of this hapless blog composed on my iPod Touch to you guys.)

Love,
Jack Fate

Yeah, it's been awhile. . .

2008-10-06T21:45:00.005-04:00

. . . and I broke my at-least-one-post-a-month standard that I set for myself. But at least I tried to write at least three different essays on shit I thought was bothering me - some of it still is. But given the state of things, the only thing I could come up with that was coherent and appropriate is this borrowed image:

Grab your ankles folks, it's gonna hurt.

Who is your favorite Founding Father?

2008-07-24T23:06:00.006-04:00

Lincoln or Reagan?

Yep, two of those people said Abraham Lincoln (b. 2/12/1809) and Ronald Reagan (b. 2/6/1911), respectively, were their favorite Founding Fathers of the United States of America (b. 1776-1791) All four people are Republican candidates for an open Congressional seat in Missouri's 9th District. I give credit to the other two for not busting a gut while the Poli. Sci. kidz were giving their answers. That had to be hard not to after the woman on the panel said Reagan. To make this even more rediculous, Abe Lincoln fanboy, Brock Olivo once had this to say back in February about his qualifications for office:

"Not only was I football player, but I also was in social studies class, and I have a passion for how this country works," Olivo said.

I know a lot of people that were "in" class, but never learned shit. By the way, just to prove that the best way out of a hole is to keep digging, Olivo (about 0:33 into the video) blathers out loud that while the "courage" Lincoln displayed in abolishing slavery was immense, it probably was not on par with the "courage" fellow Founding Father Ronald Reagan displayed when he watched the Soviet Union collapse under the weight of it's own largess, thus "winning" the Cold War. That's some titanium balls on teh Gipper, eh?

If it were my question I would probably pick either John Jay, Alexander Hamilton and/or James Madison - the authors of the Federalist Papers - as personal favorites. Though I suppose, in a debate for public office I might stick to heavy hitters like Benjamin Franklin or Thomas Jefferson, so people might think that I had at least attended a social studies class once.

(h/t teh GOS)

How I spent my weekend. . .

2008-07-14T20:21:00.004-04:00

It's the only hat I like wearing. . .

Thanks to the great folks in Blue Jimmy and Mr. and Mrs. Ayers for throwing a groovy party.

Egads! WTF?

2008-06-23T01:43:00.004-04:00

George Denis Patrick Carlin
May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008

While everyone should go watch the seminal "Seven Dirty Words" bit, I'm gonna post a more recent favorite of mine.

A little more on this later. . .

Welp, there goes my vote. . .

2008-06-20T17:10:00.006-04:00

What I am about to propose is crossing some lines that we can’t step back across. It’s a two-step solution.

Step One: Bury the corpse of the Democratic Party.
Step Two: Make a corpse of the Republican Party.

- Lighting the Fuse - Stan Goff 2006

That quote has always stuck with me for some reason. Now I know why.

Sorry Senator, you lost a supporter today. (Actually, I'm pretty sure you're gonna, deservedly, lose a shitload of supporters after letting that submissive trash out of the press shop.) Seriously, if you're going to act like a little bitch to, quite possibly, the most loathed minority party in modern history, you have no business calling yourself a leader or being the President of the United States. If I didn't know any better I would have swore that statement was written by a fucking Republican. Good day and good riddance.

UPDATE: I realize there is a difference between arguing principle and arguing politics. The Fourth Amendment to the Constitution of the United States is not a questionable subsidy or some other form of horse trading common with politics. It's the God damned Fourth Amendment to the Fucking Constitution of this seemingly cursed country! A principle of liberty if there ever was one. This is not comparable to an earmark or some corporate give-away. It is a right, guarantee and liberty enshrined in the very document that makes this society possible.

But since, it appears, immunity is for sale, who do I have to pay and how much so I can smoke a joint without worrying about my legal liability?

RIP 'Timmeh'

2008-06-14T14:10:00.006-04:00

Timothy John Russert, Jr.
(May 7, 1950 – June 13, 2008)

Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Everything remains as it was.
The old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.
Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no sorrow in your tone.
Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effort
Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was.
There is unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just around the corner.
All is well. Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting, when we meet again.

My deepest condolences to his wife Maureen, son Luke, father Timothy "Big Russ" Russert and all their family and friends. Your loss must be unbearable and I wish for nothing but peace, comfort and solace in your grieving. Godspeed.

UPDATE: A bit of levity courtesy of Ezra Klein:

Presumably, he's up somewhere beyond the cloudline, hectoring God about His inconsistencies. "But Lord, in Exodus 6:12, you clearly said..."

heh.

Game on!

2008-06-04T00:34:00.009-04:00

History was made at the Xcel Energy Center on June 3rd, 2008 as Senator Barack Obama secured the Democratic nomination for President and all but kicked off the general election campaign with a rousing speech in the same arena the Republican Party will be holding it's national convention.

An excerpt from a leaked copy of the speech:

The other side will come here in September and offer a very different set of policies and positions, and that is a debate I look forward to. It is a debate the American people deserve. But what you don't deserve is another election that's governed by fear, and innuendo, and division. What you won't hear from this campaign or this party is the kind of politics that uses religion as a wedge, and patriotism as a bludgeon -- that sees our opponents not as competitors to challenge, but enemies to demonize. Because we may call ourselves Democrats and Republicans, but we are Americans first. We are always Americans first.

Despite what the good Senator from Arizona said tonight, I have seen people of differing views and opinions find common cause many times during my two decades in public life, and I have brought many together myself. I've walked arm-in-arm with community leaders on the South Side of Chicago and watched tensions fade as black, white, and Latino fought together for good jobs and good schools. I've sat across the table from law enforcement and civil rights advocates to reform a criminal justice system that sent thirteen innocent people to death row. And I've worked with friends in the other party to provide more children with health insurance and more working families with a tax break; to curb the spread of nuclear weapons and ensure that the American people know where their tax dollars are being spent; and to reduce the influence of lobbyists who have all too often set the agenda in Washington.

In our country, I have found that this cooperation happens not because we agree on everything, but because behind all the labels and false divisions and categories that define us; beyond all the petty bickering and point-scoring in Washington, Americans are a decent, generous, compassionate people, united by common challenges and common hopes. And every so often, there are moments which call on that fundamental goodness to make this country great again.

So it was for that band of patriots who declared in a Philadelphia hall the formation of a more perfect union; and for all those who gave on the fields of Gettysburg and Antietam their last full measure of devotion to save that same union.

So it was for the Greatest Generation that conquered fear itself, and liberated a continent from tyranny, and made this country home to untold opportunity and prosperity.

So it was for the workers who stood out on the picket lines; the women who shattered glass ceilings; the children who braved a Selma bridge for freedom's cause.

So it has been for every generation that faced down the greatest challenges and the most improbable odds to leave their children a world that's better, and kinder, and more just.

And so it must be for us.

Good luck responding to that, bumbles.

UPDATE: Incertus, sums it up pretty good, imo:

McCain was comatose. Clinton's speech was fine, even though lots of people online are freaking about it, and the CNN talking heads are all in a tizzy because she didn't concede tonight.

But Obama's speech was in another world, and it was about halfway through that it finally hit me why his speech was so much better than Clinton's. Clinton's speech was in a "rally the troops" mode, with a lot of focus on what she fought for and why she'd run and what her vision for the future of the country was. Obama's caught some of that last bit--which is good, since that's what presidential nominees are supposed to do--but the rest of his speech was about people other than himself. He spent a good bit of time praising Clinton, and popping McCain right in the mouth, and then concluded with a turn to the plural. He was inclusive--what we need to do, what the road ahead of us is. And if Obama keeps that up, McCain is dogmeat.

Rest in Peace and Thank You.

2008-06-02T23:57:00.006-04:00

Bo Diddley (December 30, 1928 – June 2, 2008)

For some reason, this one hurts. Even though I'm aware of the fact he lived a good long life and beyond the fact he was royally screwed by the music business; which is a thoroughly disheartening tale, but not too unexpected. Either way, it hurts.

Both are short and well worth the listen.

And we will know them by the trail of their stupid

2008-06-01T01:11:00.011-04:00

"When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him." - Jonathan Swift

Followed by a personal fave. . .

"I dust a bit...in addition, I am at the moment writing a lengthy indictment against our century. When my brain begins to reel from my literary labors, I make an occasional cheese dip." - Ignatius J. Reilly in Confederacy of Dunces by John Kennedy Toole

I'm pretty sure the following people are not actually with the campaign and, I hope, truly represent only a minority of Sen. Hillary Clinton's supporters. However, they do a decent job knocking the Clinton argument down from parsed legalese to a more a plain spoken form of ridiculous. Seriously. You want to see dumb-as-rocks Democrats? (Allegedly?)

I present to you, Harriet Christian (supposedly):

"[T]he Democrats are throwing the election away! For what? An inadequate black male?"

Um. . . did you really say that?

And what the fuck? I thought we were settled on his adequacies. Even Sen. Joe Biden, in his not-uncommon foot to mouth way, said Sen. Barack Obama was "articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy."

Freudian slip or not (I'm willing to believe it was,) I'm not sure that "proud ... older American woman" could have come across as anymore uninformed and, well, stupid? I realize you may have been speaking more out of anger and frustration than from any coherent angle. But keep in mind that people, when they're angry, tend to be less self-censoring and that's a very telling 'rant' in that respect.

On to some "IFYOUWEREONLYAWARELIKEME" stupid:

Wow. Go vote Republican, please. Leave the rest of us the fuck alone. I also love the rehash of some of the more stupid mini-gates (I hate that suffix, btw.) There's a reason this woman won't vote for Obama and it has nothing to with Prof. William Ayers being "the bomber" or Tony Rezko's legal problems that are completely unrelated to Obama.

Semi-lucid talking points. Emphasis on "semi":

To Mr. Voter-Rights: The "voter rights" you speak of were subject to the rules of the primary as set by the DNC and agreed to BY ALL OF THE CANDIDATES. When you reconcile that cognitive dissonance - the whole "set protocol vs. desired result" thing - we'll talk about what you really think this election "is about."

Personally, I think this lady is a Republican. Substantially the same ridiculous talking points, yet she appears unemotional or detached from the lunacy required to actually believe what she's saying (as evidenced by previous clips.) But in case she's not:

Srsly? The only argument these people can give that sounds remotely like it was concocted in reality is "OMFG COUNT TEH VOTES!!!" What I wish for is that these people stop looking for reasons to not vote for the "inadequate" darker skinned 'boy' and just vote for McCain. Get out of the progressive caucus (I say 'progressive' as I'm not a Democrat.) We don't need nor want you. The results of Saturday's Rules and By-laws Committee (RBC) meeting might have given Clinton a reason for her now-beyond-ridiculous campaign to continue, but it also announced that the Obama faction is now running the Democratic party.

It's over. Barring a catastrophe, Clinton is done. Not because Obama could plausibly capture enough delegates by Tuesday night to clinch the nomination. That would be nice if it happens. Rather, as the very fascinating hearing on Saturday demonstrated, Obama is continuously confirming his influence and diplomatic tact with the party "cogs." His endorsed proposal in the most contentious delegate fight, Michigan, won by a 2 to 1 margin. (18-9, I think?) Obama could have taken the true lawyerly and/or litigious way, like Clinton has, and went to that hearing with legal guns a-blazin' and easily destroy every single argument made by the Clinton camp to the RBC. Instead he held back, worked the politics angle and left the parsing to the desperate. A brilliant strategy that has 2/3 of the RBC in alignment with him. You think the people on the Credentials Committee for the Democratic convention haven't taken notice?

So let those losers run to McCain. They obviously don't believe in progressive causes enough to put aside their ~~racism~~ Obamerage™ long enough to realize they're supporting a continuation of the policies they purport to oppose by, taken at their word, the very act of being Democrats. Screw 'em. They are not needed to win the general election anyways. Toodles.

On the upside, however, these morons couldn't make a stronger and more visceral argument against direct democracy. (Something, these people apparently believe we live under. We don't, btw.) I guess I should thank them for that.

(h/t to Wonkette)

The War Prayer

2008-05-30T01:32:00.007-04:00

Perhaps I'm lucky. One of the strongest tenants of the Catholic faith impressed upon me as a child was, as Ma' would say: "Would you like it if they did that to you?" (It's also a belief woven into Hindism, Islam, Buddhism and various other practices.) These weren't matters of devotion or adherence to a certain dogma, these were matters of the simple truths of human decency and humanity. Two Golden Rules (paraphrased):

Love God
Treat people the way you would like to be treated

Neither are impossible concepts to get your head around (even for people who debate the capitalization of the word "God.")

When praying for a win in the little league quarter-finals, you're also praying for a loss in the little league quarter-finals for the other team. Unacknowledged of course (or under-acknowledged, at best), and logically there has to be a winner and loser for there to be a competition. But why would you wish on someone that which you are praying to avoid, through prayer?

I'm not saying everyone should throw the game and let the other guy win (a misappropriation of another very important parable in the Bible.) What I'm saying is that calling on God in defense or praise of strategic competitive goals does not only contain easy to ignore negatives reactions, it is antithetical to the standards of the Golden Rules that were so generously preached and mostly observed by the people I feel lucky to call my family.

Wielding "God" as an ideological or tactical tool to gain a desired competitive result, be it a baseball win or war is indefensible. God's lessons are not about victory. The Bible taught me that Jesus cared not so much about leprosy as a disease, he cared about leprosy and how it affected the leper. The rest will follow.

That being said, courtesy of Mark Twain, this seems to be "going viral" and I think it's a good thing.

It reads just fine without the well conceived animation.

"O Lord our Father, our young patriots, idols of our hearts, go forth to battle -- be Thou near them! With them -- in spirit -- we also go forth from the sweet peace of our beloved firesides to smite the foe. O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it -- for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen."

(h/t to slacktivist)

Oh, and btw, anyone hiring?

[UPDATE: BTW, I'm an athiest.]

Feel good hit of the summer. . .

2008-05-17T11:02:00.004-04:00

It would warm the cockles of my dance-club-hating-heart to know this is making the rounds in the weekend roofie grind-fests that are American dance clubs.

Music courtesy of RevoLucian. Priceless.

Wow.

2008-05-01T23:49:00.025-04:00

So, Presidential hopeful John McCain was thrown a 'social curveball' on Thursday.

[MARTY] PARRISH: This question goes to mental health and mental health care. Previously, I’ve been married to a woman that was verbally abusive to me. Is it true that you called your wife a cunt?[*]

Balls. (I'm not sure what it has to do with "mental health care," however.) If there is an award for the best question asked of a Presidential candidate this election cycle and this doesn't win, the fix is in. Maybe it was not the most appropriate question, but even that is somewhat debatable given the direction this current cycle is headed.

“This is about character,” Parrish said, when reached by telephone afterward. “And in a moment of intemperance, he called his wife the most despicable name a person can call a woman."

Yeah, that's a crowd-pleaser of a word if there ever was one. Either way, it takes a titanium pair to get up in front of mixed company and say that word, never mind in a question to a candidate for the highest office in this cursed land.

MCCAIN: Now, now. You don’t want to … Um, you know that’s the great thing about town hall meetings, sir, but we really don’t, there’s people here who don’t respect that kind of language. So I’ll move on to the next questioner in the back.

Credit where credit is due: That's the one of the classiest non-denial denials I've heard in a long time considering the setting and the question posed to Mr. McCain.

Mr. Parrish, by the way, is a Baptist minister. Make whatever you want of that.

Of course, in our current ~~police~~ security state, Mr. Parrish was briefly detained and questioned by the Secret Service. I'll bet if he had used one of those cute illusory phrases or metaphors, only the tackiness would have been noticed and the Secret Service would not have even cared.

* For the love of Christ, do you think people could actually spell-out the explicative when it relates to the story? Nobody's mother is going to die a thousands deaths because you used (and correctly represented) the word "cunt" in your newspaper article or blog post. Highlighting a specific word that was uttered by someone is not the same as invoking that word in a pejorative fashion. Especially when said word is the whole fuckin' reason you wrote the Goddamn article/post in the first place. Nine out of ten times we're gonna know what you are talking about and actually seeing the letters in the proper sequence is not going to significantly change that fact.

Although, if you want to use the word "cunt" as an invective noun directed at a woman? Well, you're on your own with that.

With that in mind and somewhat without context:

Well that didn't take long. . .

2008-04-27T19:04:00.008-04:00

Pictured above is a candidate for Federal office who's either the dumbest politician on the fuckin' planet or dumber than the aforesaid politician. I'm not sure which. Tony Zirkle is this guys name. He's a candidate in the Republican primary for the 2nd Congressional District in Indiana. This historically unaware candidate gave a speech at the National Socialist Workers Party's birthday celebration held in honor of Adolf Hitler's April 20th birthday. Let that sink in for moment. . .

When confronted with this he explained it away as such, "[t]his is a great opportunity for me to witness." (For the uninitiated, "to witness" is to profess your faith, love, trust and whatever else in Jesus to a group of people. I'm sure there may be more to it, but that's all I've ever walked away with.)

Zirkle was there to talk about porn. More specifically, pornography made by Jew's that victimizes Christian women. So I guess it makes sense to go in front of a group of people who were celebrating the birthday of the guy responsible for exterminating 1/3 of the Jews on the planet.

[I know this is dated, but I still shake my head in disbelief looking at that picture.]

Dear Senator Clinton,

2008-04-13T23:11:00.007-04:00

You are becoming a parody of yourself. I won't ask you to stop, because it is not my place to do so. However, when you say this:

“Senator [Barack] Obama is a good man and he is a very talented and gifted man. But I think his comments were elitist and divisive. And the Democratic party has been unfortunately viewed by many people over the last decades as being elitist and out of touch. . . ”

Please do not turn around and weasel around like so:

After a weekend spent making direct appeals to gun owners and church goers, Hillary Clinton said Sunday a query about the last time she fired a gun or attended church services “is not a relevant question in this debate” over Barack Obama’s recent comments on small town Americans.

“We can answer that some other time,” Clinton said at a press conference held in a working class neighborhood here. “This is about what people feel is being said about them. I went to church on Easter. I mean, so?”

Um. . . Can I try? Hey did you know I'm a bona fide professional musician. For real. What's that, you ask? Have I ever made a living as musician? I don't see how that is relevant, I've played trumpet before. Truthfully: I haven't picked up and played a trumpet since college and I am a musician (a pretty damn decent one, in my opinion,) but unfortunately I've never made a real living as one. . . yet.

Those last two sentences are so fucking priceless. You go to church? So? (see what I did there?) Hmm. . . where have a heard another politician use a potentially condescending™ dodge like that? Oh yeah, right here.

When this election campaign started (sometime during the late 80's, it seems,) I sat back and tried not to pick any candidate to declare, essentially to myself, my support for. The three candidates, I guess, I ranked the highest didn't make the final cut. But so goes politics. Even as it became a two person race, I tried to stay objective. But you more than helped make up my mind for me.

As an ex-Democrat, I feel no real loyalty to the party and should you somehow garner, by hook or crook, the nomination. I will not be voting for you. Ralph Nader says thank you. And, like him, I kind of wonder when the Democrats running for office will actually try to appeal to their base, ya know the almost half of the nation that considers itself progressive?

Meanwhile, keep wasting your time trying to prove your poor rural bona fides (start by hiding your tax returns.) Though I'm sure you must know that most of those people you are pandering to with guns and church mixed together wouldn't vote for you if you promised to water-board 'sand niggers' in the Rose Garden every Friday at 5 pm. Frankly, they're not that dumb. Bitter and/or mad? Sure. That dumb? Mostly likely not.

Hopefully, the base of the party (the people who attend the conventions and do the nominating) will come see you for what you really have become. A joke and a sad, pandering parody of former progressive who knows of no bus too small to throw her base under.

You're not being condescending, you're being outlandishly fake. (We're talking John-Boehner-crying fake.) Condescending, however? No. Just an insult to my intelligence.

Sincerely,
jack fate

40 Years Ago. . .

2008-04-04T18:33:00.005-04:00

Without comment. . .

Let us develop a kind of dangerous unselfishness. One day a man came to Jesus, and he wanted to raise some questions about some vital matters of life. At points he wanted to trick Jesus, and show him that he knew a little more than Jesus knew and throw him off base....

Now that question could have easily ended up in a philosophical and theological debate. But Jesus immediately pulled that question from mid-air, and placed it on a dangerous curve between Jerusalem and Jericho. And he talked about a certain man, who fell among thieves. You remember that a Levite and a priest passed by on the other side. They didn't stop to help him. And finally a man of another race came by. He got down from his beast, decided not to be compassionate by proxy. But he got down with him, administered first aid, and helped the man in need. Jesus ended up saying, this was the good man, this was the great man, because he had the capacity to project the "I" into the "thou," and to be concerned about his brother.

Now you know, we use our imagination a great deal to try to determine why the priest and the Levite didn't stop. At times we say they were busy going to a church meeting, an ecclesiastical gathering, and they had to get on down to Jerusalem so they wouldn't be late for their meeting. At other times we would speculate that there was a religious law that "One who was engaged in religious ceremonials was not to touch a human body twenty-four hours before the ceremony." And every now and then we begin to wonder whether maybe they were not going down to Jerusalem -- or down to Jericho, rather to organize a "Jericho Road Improvement Association." That's a possibility. Maybe they felt that it was better to deal with the problem from the causal root, rather than to get bogged down with an individual effect.

But I'm going to tell you what my imagination tells me. It's possible that those men were afraid. You see, the Jericho road is a dangerous road. I remember when Mrs. King and I were first in Jerusalem. We rented a car and drove from Jerusalem down to Jericho. And as soon as we got on that road, I said to my wife, "I can see why Jesus used this as the setting for his parable." It's a winding, meandering road. It's really conducive for ambushing. You start out in Jerusalem, which is about 1200 miles -- or rather 1200 feet above sea level. And by the time you get down to Jericho, fifteen or twenty minutes later, you're about 2200 feet below sea level. That's a dangerous road. In the days of Jesus it came to be known as the "Bloody Pass." And you know, it's possible that the priest and the Levite looked over that man on the ground and wondered if the robbers were still around. Or it's possible that they felt that the man on the ground was merely faking. And he was acting like he had been robbed and hurt, in order to seize them over there, lure them there for quick and easy seizure. And so the first question that the priest asked -- the first question that the Levite asked was, "If I stop to help this man, what will happen to me?" But then the Good Samaritan came by. And he reversed the question: "If I do not stop to help this man, what will happen to him?" And then I got into Memphis. And some began to say the threats, or talk about the threats that were out. What would happen to me from some of our sick white brothers?
[...]
Well, I don't know what will happen now. We've got some difficult days ahead. But it really doesn't matter with me now, because I've been to the mountaintop.

And I don't mind.

Like anybody, I would like to live a long life. Longevity has its place. But I'm not concerned about that now. I just want to do God's will. And He's allowed me to go up to the mountain. And I've looked over. And I've seen the Promised Land. I may not get there with you. But I want you to know tonight, that we, as a people, will get to the promised land!

And so I'm happy, tonight.

I'm not worried about anything.

I'm not fearing any man!

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord!!

On polite discourse and the like. . .

2008-03-30T12:56:00.003-04:00

It's not a secret that the conservative end of the spectrum has demonizing their political foes down to an eloquent art form. That's not to say liberals have not or cannot do the same, but in no way are they as effective as their conservative brethren. If that was case, George W. Bush would have long ago been branded a dry-drunk, spineless little shit who avoided Vietnam and John Kerry (a lackluster presidential nominee, if there ever was one) would have never been tarred as a traitorous soldier in a war where he actually fought and was wounded. But whatever, water under the bridge, right?

The whole point being that this week at Eschacon, progressive blogger and fraternity brother (something I normally don't even think of) Sinfonian has been "live blogging" the the affair. In attendance is the Rude Pundit, the John Valby of liberal political discourse and one of my favorite reads on the tubez (when my truck is working, of course.) Intentionally avoiding any hint of subtlety and going for the throat (or cunt, actually) I present the Rude Pundit's take on the many ways he wouldn't fuck Right-wing harpy and bomb thrower, Ann Coulter.

(note - not a single minute of this is even remotely work or kid friendly)

If you're watching this after you've gone to church, think of it as a way to get the new week of sinning off to a smashing start. . .

(h/t to the Rude One and Sinfonian for reminding me of this skit)

Just gotta say. . .

2008-03-27T23:21:00.006-04:00

The War of the Democrats™ is both is both fascinating and revealing. It's odd when longtime bedfellows finally get a chance to fight about their differences. Viva la flame. . .

BAAAHHH!!! BAAAAAHHHHH!!!

2008-02-19T01:27:00.002-05:00

Why does shit like SHEEP feel so. . . dead on? Reminds me of an article I read in The Beast, that ended with this:

While [our] tribe’s recording tools are light years beyond the primitive cannibal stories they sing around the fire in Papua New Guinea, the laws that govern them are the same. And the most important law of them is that the tribe is never wrong, and can not fuck up, ever.

I need a drink now. . .

The Proletariat of a Conservative

2008-01-31T20:46:00.000-05:00

I stumbled across the entertaining blog Johnny Pez a little while ago. This is funny because it's intentional:

A specter is haunting America -- the specter of conservative communism. All the powers of liberal fascism have entered into an unholy alliance to exorcise this specter: social worker and college professor, Moulitsas and Soros, San Francisco homosexuals and New York intellectuals.

This book will present a very serious, thoughtful argument that has never been made in such detail or with such care: that the roots of the modern-day American conservative movement can be found in the works of Marx and Engels, Lenin and Stalin, Mao and Pol Pot. We (and when I say "we", I of course speak of myself as a member of the conservative collective) will trace the intellectual roots of conservative communism from its origins in the 17th century conservative communitarian religious factions of Cromwellian England. I will follow that strain of belief as it is introduced into colonial America by such notable conservative communitarians as William Penn and Mother Ann Lee. I will examine the cross-pollination of ideas between 19th-century American religious communists and European secular communists. And finally, I will trace the convergence of these two communistic impulses into the modern Republican Party, the "Grand Old Revolutionary Vanguard Party", with its vast array of think tanks, media outlets, radical journals, revolutionary "militia" cells, warblogs, and self-reinforcing mytho-ideology.

As for the book being spoofed, however, it's not intentional.

Let us begin. . .

2008-01-20T22:00:00.000-05:00

One year till teh worldz change. . . for the better. . . hopefully. . . not holding my breath or anything. . .

(h/t: Sadly, No!)

Our Fucked Country.

2007-11-26T23:47:00.000-05:00

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard. - H. L. Mencken

We're fucked. We really are. There's no two-ways about it. When the only candidates speaking any kind of truth to power are considered totally inconsequential and/or unelectable side-shows and the most pandering, vapid, triangulating and/or authority-addicted are the only real candidates, it's only getting worse. It doesn't matter what "image" we decide to elect, we'll all "get it good and hard."

Viva la pointlessness. . .

It's Alright, Ma' (it's only Jesus)

2007-11-04T17:37:00.000-05:00

Disillusioned words like bullets bark
As human gods aim for their mark
Made everything from toy guns that spark
To flesh-colored Christs that glow in the dark
It's easy to see without looking too far
That not much Is really sacred.
- "It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding), Bob Dylan

Wal-Mart, surprisingly for the first time, is carrying a full line of religious toys including, but not limited to a talking Jesus and a talking Moses. Apparently the owner of the Beverly Hills Teddy Bear Company, "was troubled by a lack of morals and ethics in toys." I suppose he has a point. In fact, most toys I owned as a kid revolved around blowing stuff up and killing your enemy and my sister's were more of the "you're never going to be this perfect or pretty" type. At least my toys didn't highlight my "flaws."

This really is not big deal. We sell Jesus at every opportunity. Whether it's a politician proclaiming his piety while his minions ratfuck the opponent or an athlete throwin' it up to "Big 'J'" after violently ramming his way to the end zone. "Praise Jesus! Now watch me [viciously smear/chop block] my opponent." It's all the same, as Jesus has had a part in many great narratives.

Of course what push-back against amoral and unethical toys would be complete with the declaration of war? The Beverly Hills Teddy Bear Company has a subsidiary or division (it is hard to say which) called one2believe.com. One2believe.com is the moral and ethical warrior wing of the company, I guess. The "vision" is:

. . . to help children learn important Bible lessons and to have them come to faith in Jesus. Our goal is to provide fun ways of teaching children about the greatest people who ever lived. Through the toys that we design children will learn and play out exciting stories about real people. Our toys teach children that there are real superheroes they can believe in!

one2believe has a great desire to support parents in their battle for their children's hearts and minds. We pray that parents will take the lead by engaging their children in faith and get them excited about Jesus. In Phillipians it speaks about pressing on, at one2believe we believe that we will either influence the world or the world will influence us.

To advance this goal, they have declared a "Battle for the Toy Box." Because nothing spreads the word of God like kicking a little unbeliever ass, right? Or at least making sure your little Johnny never forgets that a white prophet from the Middle-East is the true Son of God. But do you think this will be a passive "battle" in the supposedly pacifist ways of Jesus and his gang? Check out the main graphic for the poster they recommend you download, print and distribute in your community and church.

I cannot tell if thats a "battle" or an "embrace." Either way, its kind of odd that in order to restore morality and ethics to toys, two, grotesquely-muscled, dudes engaged in "wrestling" is needed. But what should we expect?

Christianity, which a majority of people in this country "adhere" to, is always under assault and on the verge of being eliminated, right? So what better way to educate an attention-deficient child than with a toy! That will, like every other toy, eventually find itself at the bottom of the toy box, most likely sooner rather than later, battling over the toy box with maimed G.I. Joe figurines and miscellaneous Hungry-Hungry Hippos parts. UGH!!! There is so much wrong with this concept!

But the point is not educating kids about Jesus or the religious tenants of Christianity. No way. If people really practiced what a guy supposedly named "Jesus" who wandered the present-day Middle-East spouting Marxist screeds, changing water to wine and professing adulation towards the meek and the poor, we wouldn't recognize them as red-blooded Americans. This is Jesus as supremacy. Submit to him or Samson will sneak up behind you like you were Goliath (as depicted in the above picture). What's he doing to him anyways? Looks like he's trying to take back more than the toy box. Plus, I always figured Samson was down with that Delilah chick anyways.

To me, that's neither here nor there because. . .

BTW, check out more from The Bastard Fairies.

REEFER MADNESS!!!!!

2007-10-25T23:57:00.000-04:00

It's coming for your kids. . .

Gordon Brown's plans to tighten the law on cannabis by increasing the penalties for possession suffered a fresh blow yesterday as the latest official figures showed the decision to downgrade the drug had been followed by a significant fall in its use.
British Crime Survey statistics showed that the proportion of 16- to 24-year-olds using cannabis slumped from 28% a decade ago to 21% now, with its declining popularity accelerating after the decision to downgrade the drug to class C was announced in January 2004.
[...]
Since cannabis was downgraded the proportion of young people using it has fallen each year from 25.3% in 2003-4 to 20.9% now. Among those aged 16 to 59, the proportion over the same period has fallen from 10.8% to 8.2%.

Quite honestly, I'm a little surprised by this development. Not because I'm against the gradual decriminalization or I think people who smoke marijuana should be punished severely (I don't think marijuana should be criminalized, nor it's users be punished at all). Rather, because I didn't think it would change the average usage that much. I just kinda figured the potheads in Europe were a lot like the American stoner - its available, lets smoke it. Weed is not that hard to find and, honestly, everyone smokes it*. So I guess it might be one of those things that becomes passe as soon as "teh man" doesn't care about it anymore?

Well, I guess not. . .

. . .The commission also says there is no evidence a drug's classification deterred use, and suggested that instead of tinkering the whole classification system should be placed outside the direct control of politicians.

Either way, hopefully this opens up the debate a little more. That or we can keep wasting money on a violent war against plants and chemicals. . .

* or personally knows someone who does

NRBQ

2007-09-30T18:35:00.000-04:00

Today, for the first post, we’ll start with something light. As a musician I can be a complete snob about what I like/dislike about various artists, genres and/or styles of music (something you will notice on this blog). So today, I plan to start by introducing you to THE BEST BAR BAND IN THE WORLD (The Faces coming in second, as their career as band was short lived): NRBQ, which stands for New Rhythm and Blues Quartet (though they are almost always known by their acronym). First, a little taste. . .

The above video contains the most noted, though not the most current, line-up. Pianist Terry Adams, and bassist Joey Spampinata are the only two original members left in the band and in that video. 'Big Al' Anderson (later replaced by Joey's brother, Johnny Spaminato) on guitar and the "cats meow," Tom Ardolino (still in the band) beating the crap out of the snare drum were part of a line-up that stretched from 1974 to 1994. Laying waste to musical convention and/or the idea that a band had to have a distinct sound. NRBQ's sound was singularly unique in that it was diverse and eclectic.

About 5+ years ago, around the time Wilco's much acclaimed Yankee Hotel Foxtrot record hit the stores (another story entirely), a friend and bandmate of mine turned me onto these guys. In our band (the now defunct Scott Carpenter and the Real McCoys), my friend was the official "mix tape" editor/producer. We traveled all over the country and with radio being unreliable and crappy he was an invaluable resource in this department. Popular in his mix-tape arsenal was NRBQ.When I first heard NRBQ I was only slightly intrigued. They sounded like a. . . well, just a band, playing pop songs. It wasn't until I saw them for the first time at the Euclid Tavern (a, since closed, dump) in Cleveland, OH did I understand what the, albeit under-the-radar, fuss was all about. Never before had I seen four musicians hit the stage and completely dominate every song and style they played (including a face-melting cover of Roy Orbison's short, catchy tune, "Chicken Hearted"). They were so unbelievably tight and cohesive that my dreams of being a "rock star" faded and since then I've just wanted to be in a band as good as NRBQ.

Unfortunately, NRBQ is a somewhat dormant band these days. While they are all active in music, seperately and sometimes in collaboration, they have not regularly played as NRBQ in a few years. Here's to hoping that changes. Either way you can catch Terry Adams doing four dates in November with the The Terry Adams Rock & Roll Quartet. Hopefully I'll catch a show in Cleveland.

Either way, I could go on for hours, but I'll let youtube do the talking for me. . .

BTW, both songs posted here are covers or adapted covers. Their orginal material is vast and incredible, but these are the one's I wanted to hear and it's my blog.

Greetings and salutations!

2007-09-30T16:52:00.000-04:00

Welcome to the land gravity will hopefully forget. My goal is my own self-amusement, but should something on here grab your eyes, ears or other - even better.

A little information about me. . . I am a wage slave, musician, unabashed progressive, secularist and serious believer that anything not worth laughing at is not worth taking seriously, all rolled into one. This blog will be about all those things and more.

[Please note - I'm new at this whole blogger™ interface and I haven't done any serious HTML work in, easily, 8 years. Bear with me and if you have any helpful suggestions, they are always welcome]

cough Check, one two, check. . . cough

2007-09-24T00:41:00.000-04:00

Is this thing on?

More to come in the future, as soon as I figure this whole thing out.

My World Without Gravity

Activist Judgin'

OMFG Look at the dust in this place. . .

DFH SABOTEUR!!!!!

I Guess. . . If You're Trying to One-Up Jon Stewart.

Up yours, Jim.

In the parlance of our times. . .

Four long years. . .

Lifestyles of the Affluent and Retarded™

Two pence for my thought? nah.

With All Your Power. . .

Really.

Yeah, no really. . .

How I've been feeling. . .

Henry F. Potter

Read All About It!!!

Happy Birthday, Bill 'mutha-fuckin' Hicks!!!

"The Fundamentals of the economy are strong."

For the Love of God. . .

Yes. We. Did. (Part II)

Yes. We. Did.

Proposition 8

Whoa!!!

Yeah, it's been awhile. . .

Who is your favorite Founding Father?

How I spent my weekend. . .

Egads! WTF?

Welp, there goes my vote. . .

RIP 'Timmeh'

Game on!

Rest in Peace and Thank You.

And we will know them by the trail of their stupid

The War Prayer

Feel good hit of the summer. . .

Wow.

Well that didn't take long. . .

Dear Senator Clinton,

40 Years Ago. . .

On polite discourse and the like. . .

Just gotta say. . .

BAAAHHH!!! BAAAAAHHHHH!!!

The Proletariat of a Conservative

Let us begin. . .

Our Fucked Country.

It's Alright, Ma' (it's only Jesus)

REEFER MADNESS!!!!!

NRBQ

Greetings and salutations!

*cough* Check, one two, check. . . *cough*

cough Check, one two, check. . . cough